Babies

I’m so impressed, and so sorry all at the same time.

First off, I guess I should start by saying sorry. There was a long time I didn’t like you, and didn’t give you what you needed to be happy. I thought, rather listening to you, I would listen to others what was good and not good for you.

There were times that I used you, not in good ways, but felt you were a tool to get something that I wanted.

As you have been making this baby inside me, I can’t help but be impressed with all the natural abilities you possess. You made another human being with a brain that I will soon come to know. You will work to push this baby out, then you will work to keep this baby alive.

There were times I hated my “not so flat” stomach but I am now so grateful as I don’t have any stretch marks. At times I used my curves for attention and now you have changed my way of thinking, and can see they serve a much more important purpose.

I am sorry I hated being a size 10 for most of my life. Now I am grateful for these hips that will soon be the gateway for my child to come into this world.

My legs and arms were too big and muscular but now they will be able to sustain me through labor and hold a brand new baby that keeps getting bigger.

You are amazing and I am so sorry I ever saw you less than that. I will not ever take you for granted and will always do my best to make you feel good, feed you properly, and always say good things about you.

Thank you for creating the most precious gift I have ever received.

Livin on a prayer!

Just hit 20 weeks and feeling pretty good! I still have bouts of dizziness and nausea but it’s few and far between which I am grateful for. Baby belly you ask? Sometimes…

There are times I feel like my stomach is getting rounder and others that maybe I am just getting fat. I have honestly thought “Am I really pregnant? ” Then remember that I am after throwing up in the Walmart parking lot. True story.

A few things I have been thinking about (besides becoming a parent and desperately wanting to decorate a home) is the fact that all of this has really good timing. Ben and I started trying to get pregnant after the new year. I think I had a miscarriage with a late menstrual cycle in Feb, and found out I was pregnant on June 4th. I really didn’t want to have a baby during the holidays so it’s super nice that the babies due date is on Feb 8th, 2020. It is also perfect timing with where Ben and I are in our lives. We have been doing the RV thing for over a year and I think we will be ready to move on when December comes.

Before I dreamed about traveling the world, and being with just my husband in new areas and experience new things. And we really did live it up this last year! We went to Europe for 6 weeks, then started this RV adventure right after. We really haven’t stopped. Now, I like looking up baby hacks and pinning a bazzion pins on Pinterest about home cleaning and organizing. It’s super weird, but I feel like I am ready for that stage of life.

I also have to say that being with Ben full time, literally meaning every day/night for over a year has been extremely fun. I know life won’t always be like this but having this time together has almost felt sacred. I know that was a big jump from extremely fun to sacred but I don’t know how else to describe it. We literally wake up with huge smiles on our faces just to be with each other. It’s been like a super charged incubator for our relationship. We have had our fights (which super suck) but in the end, we learn, grow closer, and know how to better to communicate with the other when the situation comes up again.

I am aware that relationships change with age, and especially when a new member comes along, but I am grateful for this base we have established over the last year. Ben is seriously the best partner. He treats me well, makes me histarically laugh every day, and is a great provider.

Now, onto the pregnancy stuff. Here are a few things I would tell others who just found out there were pregnant.

1. Everyone is different. My Mom had 5 kids and said she never remembered getting morning sickness. I, on the other hand, was super sick the first trimester. It was an everyday battle which I hadn’t expected. Just know your body is different and figure it out as you go.
2. Sleep, sleep sleep. I am in a lucky position where I don’t have to clock in anywhere from 9-5. For the first trimester, I was sleeping 8-9 hours a night, and having a 2-hour nap during the day. Maybe I was just trying to escape the morning sickness but it sure helped to get that rest!
3. Research for yourself, and do what you feel is right. I will never judge a woman with how she decides to give birth. It’s your body and your baby. Hospital, home, OBGYN, or Midwife, you figure it out for you.
4. Love your body. It’s going to do some weird things. But, your body knows what to do. It’s preparing to grow another person INSIDE of you. A little miracle will change your body, and that’s ok.
5. Let service in. Some women out there (ahem… me) have felt like they can do it on their own. I haven’t been able to and have leaned on my husband Ben for support. He hasn’t complained or even hesitated to help. Moving the RV is a lot of physical work and I haven’t been able to step in like I use too. It’s ok. People want to help you. Being taken care of like this really has added a layer of love for Ben that I didn’t know existed. When he fills my water bottle up to the top with ice because he knows I am running hot, or sprays me down with the water bottle before bed just screams love to me. They are super simple but when you are uncomfortable, and you have a companion who is doing what they can to help, it’s the most attractive thing in the world. Also, don’t just let your spouse serve you, let others who offer. We spent some time over at Bens cousins house and she made me tea and spent some much-needed girl time with me talking about how hard the first trimester is. That was seriously so nice.

So there you have it!

When this RV trip is over, I think the timing is perfect. We will be ready to settle down, and start having a family.

16 weeks and our baby is the size of an Avocado.

Not sure if I really have a bump or I am just bloated at the end of the day but things are coming along! Nausea has finally subsided for the most part. Nights are still hard and I get super tired and just have to lay down but I am able to do more during the day. Ben and I actually went hiking in the Redwoods and I felt pretty good!

I am feeling some sudden cramps but no bleeding so I am assuming that it’s me starting to feel the baby move around.

Food is still not my friend. I can’t say that I enjoy eating or anything really hits the spot. It’s just getting substance in me and doing my best to get 60 grams of protein. I am still glad we are on the road while I am pregnant. A year is a LONG TIME and I am glad we didn’t stop our adventures just because I don’t feel 100%. Hopefully the next few weeks Ill be even better!

I finally feel more like myself…

Man! That first trimester was ROUGH. I am currently in my 19th week and our baby is the size of a Mango. Surprisingly, it’s also the first time I a have thrown up. Oddly, we moved yesterday, and I went grocery shopping at Walmart. Something about that mix didn’t go so well.

Moving on, I am felling my tummy getting bigger but haven’t really indicated any movement yet. That’s not to say there isn’t any, just that I can’t identify it. We have the Ultrasound scheduled for the 3rd of October so less than a month away!

As for the RV life, it’s still going. I think we are feeling a bit trunky lately and trying to live in the moment and not look at the future too much. We have a big year ahead of us. Starting our family, moving back to Austin, looking for an RV park or house to buy. Things are changing and we are excited about the change but still recognize this amazing opportunity we have right now.

Moving is still stressful and I look less forward to them because they are so physically taxing. I was feeling down one day and Ben called me out on it. I think I was just feeling a bit secluded and board, to be honest. I still work on the Mermaid stuff but my nesting instincts are off the chart and all I want to do is, clean, organize, and hang out on Pinterest. So I told him that I wanted to go to the Mall. It was funny, I only bought a $20 shirt but it was nice just to be out doing something different. I also make it a point to call lots of family and friends to visit.

Ben does such an amazing job with his company and also taking care of me. There are some days I feel my heart is about to explode because I just love him so much. I really love being married to this man of mine and grateful he is the father to our child. It’s true what they say, love does grow stronger as time goes on.