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I got a call in the middle of the night from Trevor. I saw the clock and it was 1:30am. I thought it was an accident and just sent it to voicemail. As I looked closer at my phone, I had a bunch of messages. At first, I thought something had happened to Bill, but then I saw a text from him, so I knew something was up with Mom.

I called Trevor back, and he told me that Mom had passed away on a trip to Colorado with Bill. They were at a concert and she went to the bathroom. She was gone for a long time, so they went to see if she was ok and found her in the stall leaning against the wall. They did everything they could, but in the end, she was gone. They think it was a heart attack. Everyone is in shock. She seemed to be really healthy.

To be honest, it seemed like a good way to go. She was traveling and doing something fun with friends. The last few years have been full of travel and doing her Operation Smile trips. Our relationship was complicated, but it was a hard weekend to say goodbye.

We decided to stay a few weeks, like we always do. The first week was all prep for mom’s funeral. We got a bunch of stuff of hers and set up a memory wall. It was a good representation of who she was. We did the viewing Thursday. It was extremely hard for me to see Mom in the casket. Amber asked me to do the dressing the day before and I just couldn’t do it. Good friends showed up which was nice.

The day of the funeral was a beautiful fall day. We spoke at the church and cried until our eyeballs hurt. The grave site was overlooking the valley. Her casket was wooden and everyone painted their hand white and put their print on it. Kevin had the idea to bring a stensil of a rose so we did a yellow rose for Blakely to be a part of it. As they lowered the casket, we all sang “Let’s go fly a kit” which seemed appropriate. She loved that song.

The next few days were rough. All of us felt super lost. We had been so structured with time and details then it was a void of nothing… We all ended up at Trevor’s for Sunday dinner and I think we were all so fried we could hardly make conversation.

For memory sake, I would like to include my talk I gave at her funeral.

My mom was a neat lady. She did a lot of cool things in her lifetime. Which is pretty inspiring. She found a lot of things in life that made her happy. 

As a child, I remember her being pretty scrappy and creative when it came to motherhood. With raising 5 kids in the 80s and 90s I am sure she had to be. 

Whenever we went to Lagoon, she would make us all wear the same shirt so it was easier to find us in the crowd. 

She had a signature whistle that we could recognize anywhere that she used our whole lives. 

During our elementary and Jr high days, we naturally would fight getting out of bed in the morning, she would take off our covers and squirt us with cold water out of a squirt bottle to wake us up. It was effective. 

I remember her blasting scriptures throughout the house from a cassette tape and calling that family scripture study. Which I don’t think was very effective. 

She was patriotic and would cry during the national anthem.

I remember the smell of her Avon lotion as she kissed us before heading off to work the night shift as a nurse. 

She really had a passion for nursing and worked as long as I can remember. She found her calling with Operations smile where she could use her nursing skills as well as travel the world. We share that passion for travel. 

My mom loved treasure hunting at yard sales or savers. She was fun. She loved to laugh (at slightly inappropriate jokes) and she had a great smile. 

I remember coming off the escalator at the airport after my mission knowing my family was somewhere in the crowd and having my 5 foot 2 mom run through the crowd, seemingly pop out of no where, and throw her arms around my neck. I think that is how our next reunion will feel. 

I’ve learned that life is messy, relationships are hard, people are complicated, and death is weird. Jeanne is doing great right now.  We shouldn’t mourn the dead, but mourn the living. It’s the rest of us that have to deal with mortality and the feelings that come with it. Grief being the hardest of all. 

Mom finished her mortal race and is exploring, and maybe doing a little treasure hunting on other side. Maybe it’s some sort of spiritual gift that she developed on earth. 

As J.M. Barrie’s  says in the novel Peter and Wendy “Death is the greatest adventure of all”

I’m grateful for Jesus Christ and his atonement that can make beauty from Ashes, and in time, all will be well especially because of temple covenants. 

So Mom, We will miss you for this season. We will miss your smile, your laugh, your chocolate chips cookies and many more things.  In the mean time, enjoy this new adventure. From one side of the veil to another, and from one mother to another Take care of her for me, remind my little one often how much her mommy loves her. 

Till we meet again. 

Hi-D and the Girls

Monday Morning, we went down to Plesent Grove and helped Hi-D (Ben’s sister) with her house. Her, and her husband are recently separated and I’ll do this as a service for those I love. It was a good get away and distraction from the week before. We spent 3 days cleaning, organizing, and chatting. It was great! On Thursday my dad came to pick me up and bring me back to SLC to help Amber and Bill put Moms stuff away that we used for the display. Ben is going down to LV to see a concert that he has been excited about for almost a year!

As I went back to mom’s house all the exhausted feeling came back, and I finally felt the tiredness catch up with me.

I was fried…

The last 4 days of the trip I was completely fried. I couldn’t keep conversation, I was super tired and had major brain fog. I thought it was from all the emotions from the trip but turns out it was something else.

To be continued.

Sometimes you don’t have a good reason to say no, and suddenly, bam, you’re on another airplane to Utah. This trip was a mix of business retreat for Ben, cousin adventures for me and Bronson, and lots of small-town magic that kept us entertained from dirt bikes to duck races.

Highlights from the trip:

• Bronson living his best life with dirt bikes, tractors, and a riding lawn mower.
• Hanging out in Rigby with cousins Becky and Brad (trailer life = freedom).
• Ben making new business connections at his retreat.
• Rocket launches, Cornbelly’s, and chasing chickens in Huntsville.
• Bronson competing in an impromptu duck race (yes, that’s a real thing).

Airplane, Takeoff, Repeat

Ben got invited to a business retreat up in Island Park ID. For some reason, I really didn’t want to go. However, I didn’t have a real good reason not to go. So here I am, on an airplane again going to Utah… again

Luckily, airports rank very high on Bronson’s favorite-things list. Watching planes take off turns him into a full-on jumping bean of excitement.

Rigby Retreat: Dirt Bikes & Cousin Time

We landed in Salt Lake City and drove up to Rigby, Idaho, where Bronson and I stayed with Ben’s cousin Becky while Ben continued to the retreat. Becky and Brad are those kinds of people who make you feel instantly at home, fun, relaxed, and just plain good company.

They had a trailer we could stay in, which gave us our own little space. Bronson? He was in paradise. Brad had dirt bikes, and every evening after work, he’d let Bronson ride with him. It was pure childhood magic.

We also went hiking (lots of rock-throwing into water, Bronson’s specialty), visited the temple, and just soaked up cousin time. The cherry on top: Bronson got rides in a big green tractor and a riding lawn mower. Basically, if it had wheels, Bronson was there for it.

We went on a hike to throw rocks in the water, the temple, and just hung out with cousins. He even got to ride in a big green tractor, AND on a riding lawn mower. It was great fun.

Ben had a great time at his retreat and made some good contacts that will hopefully lead somewhere.

Back to Huntsville: My Happy Place

Oh, Huntsville. Every time we come back, I fall a little more in love.

Pop-pop kept Bronson endlessly entertained. Their thing right now is watching rocket videos on his phone, and of course launching actual rockets in the yard. Throw in cousin chaos, chicken-chasing, and wide-open space, and Bronson was in heaven.

We also visited the family of a missionary who served in Waco and grew up right next to Huntsville in Liberty. It was fun to see where he came from!

Cornbelly’s: Fall Festival w/ Hi-d

Another highlight was visiting Hi-D and her girls. Together, we tackled Cornbelly’s, a fall festival that was so jam-packed with activities we barely scratched the surface.

One of the most unexpected (and hilarious) moments? The duck races. They hand live ducks to kids, set them in little water lanes, and let them flap their way to the finish. Bronson got picked to race, and watching him try to cheer on his duck was priceless.

He also tackled slides, tried new activities, and generally leaned into the festival spirit.

This summer didn’t look quite like our usual adventures, but it turned into a season packed with family, road trips, business dreams, and even a few misadventures (hello, poison ivy). From scorching hikes and pool dips to exploring the idea of buying an RV park, here’s how our not-so-ordinary summer unfolded.

Highlights:

• Southern Utah heat + family + fancy pool = daily fun.
• A girls’ getaway in Park City with surprise balloon décor.
• RV park dreams that turned into an almost-business adventure.
• A very itchy three-week lesson in poison ivy.
• Summer in Waco with friends, fun, and plenty of busy days.

A Summer with a Twist

This year was different. With Ben still looking for full-time work, we skipped the big travel budget but made the most of what we had. That meant a Southern Utah trip with family and squeezing in a girls’ getaway.

St George: Family Reunion

Pop Pop Rulon, Joanna, Hi-D and her girls, Trevor’s family, and Amber’s family all joined in a Airbnb in St George. Yes, it was blazing hot we knew that going in but the trip was for the kids. Between playing at the Thunder Junction Dinosaur Park, hiking the red rocks, and cooling off at a fancy pool right across the street (sometimes twice a day), the days balanced out beautifully.

Girls Trip Weekend: Park City

After Utah’s red rock adventure, we headed to Lehi to stay with our good friend Candace. Her son and Bronson are great buddies, which made the stop even sweeter.

Of course, no summer is complete without a girls’ trip. We escaped to Park City for a night, just friends and no kids. Jenni let us use her condo, and when we walked in, it was decorated with balloons—leftovers from someone’s 20th birthday celebration. Totally random and totally hilarious.

The RV Park Close Call

Back in the early days of our marriage, Ben and I lived in an RV for 16 months. It was a blast, and we’ve often dreamed of owning an RV or mobile home park one day.

This summer, Ben found a property southeast of San Antonio at a tempting price. We visited, explored, and realized it had good bones, but also a big problem. It was in the middle of nowhere, with hardly anyone around to fill the spots.

Still, Ben gave it a shot. For 8 weeks, he tried different strategies, even considering buying trailers to rent-to-own.

One weekend he was driving down with money in hand to buy a trailer for $11,000 to then hopefully rent it out.

He talked to his uncle, who asked one simple question: “What if they don’t pay the rent?” That stopped him in his tracks. He turned the car around and called the whole thing off.

San Antonio Zoo

Not all was lost in south Texas, though. We visited friends and spent a day at the San Antonio Zoo, which was bursting with flowers and vibrant plants.

Poison Ivy Problems

As if summer hadn’t already been eventful, I had my first-ever run-in with poison ivy. One innocent walk past some overgrowth, one sneaky leaf, and bam three weeks of pure misery. Lesson learned: beware the ivy!

Waco Wrap-Up

Back home in Waco, we filled the rest of summer with friends, fun, and busy days. Even without a big trip, it turned into a season worth remembering.

This month was slower, softer, and sprinkled with sweet moments. Recovery kept us closer to home, but there were still plenty of little adventures, laughter, and memories worth holding onto. From honking horns and egg hunts to farm fun and Bronson’s disappearing act, here’s a peek at our spring.

Highlights:

• Vehicle day = endless honking and kid-sized joyrides.
• Easter became extra meaningful (and extra decorated).
• Farm playdates turned into epic egg hunts.
• Bronson: social butterfly, bookworm, music lover, and occasional escape artist.

Honk If You Love Chaos

The library hosted a “vehicle day,” where kids climbed into fire engines, buses, and shiny cars to push every button and most importantly honk every horn. So. Much. Honking.

Little Celebrations Everywhere

We still squeezed in birthdays, park visits, playdates, and even Temple days. Small things, but they added up to a season of joy.

Easter 2025: Making It Matter

I’ve been trying to make Easter a bigger deal in our family. I splurged a little on décor, not bunnies and baskets, but more Christ-centered pieces. It’s all to remind us of the resurrection and the sweet promise that we’ll see Blakely again one day.

Our ward hosted an egg hunt right next to the church. Bronson’s buddy, Adam Anderson, helped him scoop up eggs. On Sunday, the apostles spoke so beautifully about resurrection, and it hit home. We’d be so lost without Jesus Christ.

One of our favorite traditions is playdates at Vicki’s farm. She has horses, tractors the kids can ride, playful dogs, and all kinds of adventures waiting. With no grandkids of her own, it’s the perfect win-win setup.

This year, the Easter egg hunt there was next-level. The grass was so tall that the kids had to really hunt for their eggs. Total blast!

Sunday was special. The apostles talked a lot about resurrection that helps me remember that Blakely will come back to us one day all because of Jesus Christ. We would be so lost without him.

Bronson: Built Tough, Carried Often

Oh, my Bronson Boy, he’s the best. Honestly, we just lucked out with the sweetest kids.

Bronson hasn’t met a stranger yet. He loves people, talks up a storm, and lights up around anything with wheels or an engine. He’s a bookworm, connects deeply with music, and despite being a sturdy 30 pounds, still begs to be carried around in Mom’s arms.

Hide-and-Seek Champion: Age 2

One day, I had a doctor’s appointment, so Ben was on Bronson duty. Ben was trying to get some work done while Bronson played in the front room. Just before I got home, Ben realized it was way too quiet.

He tore through the house in full panic mode. By the time I pulled into the garage, he rushed out, pale-faced, saying he couldn’t find Bronson anywhere. And then there he was. Curled up under the little trampoline in our front room, fast asleep. Crisis averted, heart rates slowly returned to normal, and now it’s one of our favorite “remember when” stories.

So Lucky

At the end of the day, through slow recovery and little chaos, we’re just so, so lucky.

We decided to go to Utah for Christmas. I really want to live in Huntsville where my brother Trevor and his family live. However, we always go in the summer, which is the best time of the year. Ben’s master plan was to go in the winter so I would remember how much I hate the snow. So we left our crazy friends in Waco and headed to Utah.

We had a great time visiting family and getting together for the holiday. We made our ultimate BBQ nachos for “Nacho Christmas Eve” which was a hit. We spent time at Jason and Jenni’s. There was a street that had lit up all these trees. It was incredible! Bronson was in heaven with his cousins in Huntsville. Trevor would put on a dance party light that was like $10 on Amazon and they would do dance parties. Bronson was super into it.

The Crash

On December 27th, on the way home from the Temple, Corine and I got in a huge car accident. A drunk driver going about 60 miles an hour T-boned our car going through a red light. I was in the passenger seat and the dash board collapsed on my legs, breaking my hip and dislocating my leg.

I was in the hospital for 2 weeks, and then an additional 2 weeks at Trevor’s house, healing and getting used to moving around.

Bronson on the other hand was living his best life with his cousins. The snow wasn’t too bad and I still do want to live in Huntsville.

Recovery was slow

Luckily, I have amazing friends.

I sent out a sign-up sheet and asked anyone who could spare a morning to come hang out at my house, bring their kids to play with Bronson, and help me do a little house cleaning or meal prep. It was a full 5 week (Joanna my MIL came for 2 to help out) and the sheet was full within an hour and… I cried. We really do have the best ward and neighbors.

During this time, I don’t remember a lot, just crutches and being super intimidated to walk again, but also grateful it wasn’t worse. Walking without a limp is the next goal that I work on. Slowly but surely.

It’s been a hard year without you little girl.

People have been asking what they can do for our family as Blakely’s 1st Angel Anniversary is approaching on November 21st.

There is a lot to say so I will say it in this blog post. 

Thank You For The Support

First of all, thank you for your prayers and support this last year!
They have been felt, and extremely helpful. Thank you for your texts, letters, calls, meals, or any effort extended to our family. I usually didn’t respond, but the gestures were always appreciated. 

I know I am not the only one to experience this type of grief, but it’s a monster. The pain of being separated from someone you love with your whole soul (and then some) can only be swallowed up in Christ. 

The Evolution of Grief

Blakely is special. Raising her for those 3.5 + years was blissful and we are lucky to be her parents. 

As the sting of death lessens with time, other regrets are exposed.

The experiences we are now having as a family without her, and wishing we could see Blakely and Bronson grow up as siblings have been difficult at times.

We trust all will be made right in time. 

How We Are Celebrating

We plan to have a quiet day on the 21st as a family re-reading letters, looking at photos/videos, and commemorating her life.

If you would like to send us a text with a picture you took of Blakely, a favorite memory, or something related that comes to your mind, we would love it. 

Beyond that, we would appreciate you talking about Blakely with your family to keep her memory alive. Death is a hard concept for kids, especially when it is one of their friends. 

Please pray for Blakely as we are sure she is busy working on the other side, and please pray for our family as we venture into the second year without her.

What We Are Looking Forward To

If you believe in a resurrection, please revisit the topic as a family. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we believe in Christ and believe we can live with our families forever.

We believe in the atonement and resurrection of Christ and through him all will be resurrected. In time, and with hope, we can all look forward to seeing Blakely “in a coming day.”

Til We Meet Again BRB

We chose to symbolize Blakely as a Yellow rose in our family pictures. Blakely’s favorite color was yellow, and Rose was her middle name. Till we meet again my little bug.

We love you Blakely forever and continue to be your biggest cheerleaders.