Ok, so here is the whole story.
We have been going to a infertility Doctor since April of 2025. We started trying August of 2024 with no luck. I was hoping to be pregnant by Christmas of 2024, but ended up getting into that accident, so not being pregnant was actually a blessing. However, we had a miscarriage in February, as well as May of 2025. The Dr. did all the tests that they need to and didn’t find anything wrong which was slightly frustrating cause that all goes under the diagnosis of “unexplained infertility.” If there was something wrong, at least you could do something about it rather than jumping to IVF.
I am in my 40’s and my AMA is lower, so I knew it would be harder to get pregnant but I really wanted Bronson to have a buddy growing up. I knew we had to try everything we could, and at the same time, I really didn’t want to do IVF. This is just a personal preference and that IVF is the right answer for some, but I didn’t want to go down that route especially beacuse I knew I “could” get pregnant, it was all a matter of waiting for a good “egg” to come along.
The miscarriages were hard. It was a light line with a pregnancy test on the day I was supposed to start my period and within 10 days I would start. This is called a checmical pregnancy. Things have been so hard the last few years and I prayed that the one thing that could be easy during this time of struggle was to get pregnant but it really wasn’t happening for us. The summer was hard. I had friends that told me about the miricles in their lives. It was hard for me to go home and not think “what are we doing that disqualifies us from getting blessings?” Well, I really didn’t know what the Lord had in store for our family.
In June and July of this summer I asked to try the medication Clomid. This has more side effects that Letrizole (I think that is how it’s spelled) and makes you ovulate more than one egg at a time. I asked the Dr “would that give me more chances per month to get a good egg and get pregnant?” And he said yes, that is one way to go about it. He did warn me about the risk of multiples but I always wanted twins so I was ok with it. We also decided to do an IUI which is just a super weird experience all together.
So we did Clomid and IUI for June and July with no luck. I was super devastated and was worried IVF was the only solution. Well the July IUI was done by a different Dr. I asked if we could have some time after the IUI to talk about IVF. She was super nice but started our conversation off with “has anyone talked to you about your statistics for getting pregnant?” I told her that the previous Dr said it was a 5% chance of getting pregnant on our own, 10-15% if we did IUI, and 40-50% chance if we did IVF. Then she said “I have some pretty devastating news for you, even with IVF you only have about a 4% chance of getting pregnant with your age and AMA levels.” Yes, I was devastated but told her we wanted to keep trying. She said she didn’t recommend IVF for us as it was really expensive and was hard on a body. She did suggest going on the highest level of Clomid to see if we could get 3-4 eggs dropping to increase chances each month of getting pregnant. I agreed but wasn’t looking forward to the experience. Clomid already made me super angry.
That month we were going to Utah/Idaho. I told the Dr and she said I shouldn’t take Clomid because I have to get a mid cycle ultrasound to make sure the Clomid didn’t have any negative side effects for me. I was furious. I said “Ive been on it for 2 months with no extreme side effects, can’t I just take it?” and she said no. Ugh…. so frustrating. However I did feel in the back of my mind. If God wants me pregnant than Ill get pregnant. And… it would be a nice break after months of treatment.
So off to Utah we went. 4 days after we got home from the trip, we found out my Mom passed away. So 7 days after that, we were again on a plane back to Utah. Here is were the story comes into play.
About 10 mintues before we are leaving for the airport I decided last minute to take a pregnancy test. I think it was one day before my period was suppose to start and I didn’t want to bring the pregnancy test on the road so just hurried and took it. I was expecting it to be negative and move on with my life. Especially because we hadn’t had luck with the meds or the IUI the last few months. However, when I went into the bathroom too my surprise there was a light line.
Now… with my 2 previous miscarriages, I also had light lines as well. I thought “I can’t handle this right now, I’ve gotta go deal with my moms passing. I’ll start my period in a week or so and we will reset when we come back. However, I never started my period.
After the funeral I called my infertility Dr. and told her what happened. She said we needed to take a few blood tests anyway to figure out what my HCG levels are to really know if I am pregnant or not. “Great” I thought, “I can compartmentalize everything until I hear results back” and was for the most part, able to push it out of my mind. I didn’t want to get too excited for it only to be another miscarriage. I took tests a day apart and waited for the results. I was at Hi-Ds house when the first round of results came in. “Your HCG looks good” the tests said, but the Dr wanted to do one more test just to make sure.
At this point I hadn’t even told Ben, or anyone about the light line I got before leaving for Utah again. It’s a rough roller coaster for him not knowing so I wanted to know for sure what the outcome was before tuning him into anything.
Well, the 3rd blood test was harder to secretly get done but was able to do it before heading up to Trevor and Corines house for a few days. Trevor picked me up and saw the bandaid where I had given blood and immediately asked “wait, are you pregnant?” Which was funny because no one else asked or said anything even though they knew I was doing blood tests. Well, I told him I wasn’t sure and we were waiting for the results and that was all that was really said.
Well, as I said in the post before, I was super fried at Trevors. I wasn’t able to make conversation, be much help around the house or around meal times, and actually started gagging the day before we were heading home. This was definitely not normal.
I decided to tell Ben the night before we left back for Texas the whole story, and that I was nervous about the flight. He was surprised because it was super unexpected but was great about taking the riegns on Bronson so I could focus on not throwing up.
We get home and finally hear about the 3rd blood test. Looks great! Let’s set up an appointment for an ultrasound to make sure everything looks good.
That Friday we were heading down to Temple Texas to see if this was for real. Well, we got a huge surprise!
TWINS
We had talked about it before and actually prayed we could have twins for a while. I knew this would be my last pregnancy, and we did want more kids. It would be nice to have them at the same time so we could move on from the baby stage and infertility and pregnancy and all that. Well, we got what we prayed for!
I was shocked and so overwhelmed. We decided we wouldn’t tell many people at first just incase. But our 9 week appointment went great. Both twins are the same size, strong heart beats and active. Everything you could ask for!
Morning Sickness
Yes, it was hard. I was super gaggy, burpy, and tired. It was managable, mainly due to Bronson still taking a few hour nap in the middle of the day. That freaking saved me because after I put him down for quiet time, I fell into my bed exhausted. After a few hours I felt better and was able to get dinner on the table and bedtime routine. But soon fell asleep after that.
We waited until after Thanksgiving to tell our close friends here in Waco, and then slowly let out the info to family. By Christmas we were ready to tell parents and post on social.
We tried to do family pictures a few days after getting home from Utah and you can tell we were exhausted! Everyone except for Bronson.
Halloween
Halloween was pretty good. I have noticed that my love for the holidays have really faded over the last few years. I am hoping that with time I get more excited for them but I mainly feel relieved when they are over. All that being said, we HAD to do our annual kids Halloween party. Pirate themed again.
Not as big of a turn out as previous years but… I was super sick and tired at that point. I told our good friends the Jacobsens, Rosens, and Larsens that we were expecting and showed them the video. It was fun to finally share the miricle.
We also did the ward Trunk or Treat. Bronson was all in on Robin hood. I wanted to be Clucky but… he insisted on Maid Marion.
Thanksgiving
We did Thanksgiving out at Vicki Van Styns. She is a wonderful lady who is in our ward. They have so much love to give and no kids or grandkids around. We do “days at the farm” with the mom group where they play on their huge property and ride the horses. It was nice, and low key. I really didn’t want to host or travel anywhere far as I was still in the thick on morning sickness.
The Giving Machine
The giving machine sponsored by the Church has come to Waco. Bronson and I were asked to be in the parade. I thought it would be a good time with Bronson and I would just be sitting on the float. We had a good time!
He loves this hat and wears it all the time.
Next adventure, Christmas in Arizona!
We had planned to go to AZ for Christmas and stay out at David and Cristyanns house. They bought Joannas house and she was staying in the master bedroom until she was able to build her little casita in the back.
Something so funny about Bronson is, he LOVES the Grinch who stole christmas story. He likes villians which is definelty different than Blakely. We went to a neighborhood party and there was a guy dressed up like the grinch. Bronson loved it.
We went to the Organ stop and visited the Mesa temple lights, hungs out a bunch with cousins and went to Sedona where Cristyann had a condo. We all got the flu over Christmas though. BOO!
So back to the whole “getting pregnant with twins thing”
We let our friends know in Waco that we were pregnant with Twins but said we wanted to wait till Christmas before letting our families know. Well we arrive in Peoria AZ and the first question that Joanna and Cristyann asked was “are you pregnant with twins?”
I was planning on waiting until Christmas to give Joanna a gift that said we were having twins and then let the rest of our family members know on Christmas day so I paniced and said no, I wasn’t pregnant with twins. I thought that me being pregnant wouldn’t be a big deal beacuse they already knew for a while that we were expecting so I thought the hype was already over. Anyway, keeping that secret was really hard… So we eventually just gave her an early Chrsitmas gift and let the Beck side know. On Christmas I let the rest of our family hear the news. Kev and Melora were the first, then Dad/Jason and Jenni, then everyone else on Christmas. We have a video of everyones reaction. Makes me cry everytime I watch it.
So the news was out! So exciting! Now just waiting for the Genders in Feb.
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